Seeing Herself Clearly: The Freedom of a Late ADHD Diagnosis
Earlier this year I completed a research project on ADHD in women as the final part of the Psychology degree I was studying. As October is ADHD awareness month, I wanted to offer an insight into what I found.
The qualitative research, conducted in 2025, explored the lived experiences of nine women who were diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood after receiving other mental health labels such as anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder (BPD).
The findings point to a striking conclusion, the late diagnosis of ADHD in women is not a personal failure, it is a systemic one.
Unmasking, women with ADHD.
A Gendered Diagnostic Gap
For decades, ADHD has been primarily studied, described, and diagnosed through a male lens. Early clinical models focused on hyperactivity and external behaviours typically observed in boys. As a result, generations of women whose symptoms presented differently, through disorganisation, emotional overwhelm, or perfectionism were overlooked.
“Women have been socialised to appear calm, compliant, and emotionally regulated, this means they often mask symptoms that would otherwise draw attention. What we see is a generation of women who’ve learned to over-function just to fit in.”
This concept of masking — performing competence and suppressing visible struggles — appeared throughout the study. One participant shared,
“I was so good at pretending to cope — even I believed it sometimes.”
Another added,
“People thought I had it together, but I was falling apart inside.”
While masking may offer short term survival, it often comes at a long term emotional cost; burnout, breakdowns, and feelings of shame when life changes or hormonal shifts make coping strategies unsustainable.
Misdiagnosed and Mistreated
Every participant in the study had been treated for other mental health conditions before ADHD was considered. Many had spent years taking antidepressants or attending therapy that never addressed their core challenges.
“They said it was BPD — I never related to that at all.”
“I’ve been medicated for 20 years and none of it worked until the ADHD diagnosis.”
These stories highlight how ADHD symptoms, especially in women, are often misattributed to mood or personality disorders. The findings echo recent clinical literature showing that diagnostic bias, comorbidity, and limited awareness among professionals remain major barriers to accurate assessment.
Systemic Barriers and Fragmented Care
Even when women suspect ADHD, structural obstacles persist. Participants described long NHS waiting lists, lost referrals, and inconsistent post-diagnosis support.
“It took two and a half years of chasing just to get an assessment.”
Others described confusion and fear after rushed medication appointments or lack of follow up care. “The process was so disjointed, I had to self-advocate at every step,” said one participant.
This reflects a wider issue within the UK healthcare system: fragmented pathways for ADHD assessment and management, compounded by a lack of gender sensitive training for clinicians.
The Emotional Aftermath of Late Diagnosis
For many, receiving a diagnosis in adulthood brought an overwhelming sense of relief — but also grief.
“It finally made sense — I wasn’t broken, just wired differently.”
“I felt a huge amount of sorrow… I wouldn’t have had the chaotic life I’ve had.”
These reflections capture the dual nature of diagnosis: it validates a lifetime of struggle but also highlights years lost to misunderstanding. It is important to note that many participants described reframing their identity post-diagnosis, experiencing increased self-esteem and self-compassion for the first time.
A Call for Change
The study identifies five key factors contributing to missed or late ADHD diagnosis in women:
Gendered presentation and diagnostic bias
Symptom misattribution and mental health misdiagnosis
High levels of masking and overcompensation
Lack of awareness and education among both women and professionals
Fragmented healthcare pathways delaying or disrupting diagnosis
These findings reinforce the urgent need for reform and education within healthcare and education systems.
Awareness isn’t just about recognition, it’s about prevention — preventing decades of unnecessary suffering by ensuring that clinicians, teachers, and families understand how ADHD can look in women.
Towards a More Compassionate Future
As ADHD awareness grows, so too does the opportunity to build more inclusive diagnostic practices, ones that honour lived experience and challenge outdated stereotypes.
For mental health practitioners, this means integrating gender informed, trauma aware, and neurodiversity affirming approaches into assessment and therapy.
For women themselves, it’s about self-compassion and empowerment: understanding that what once felt like failure may in fact be resilience in disguise.
“Had it been picked up in school, maybe I would have built better resilience.”
The research calls on society, from clinicians to educators to policymakers to see beyond the mask. Because awareness doesn’t just change understanding; it changes lives.
About the Research
This article is based on “What Are the Perceived Factors Contributing to the Missed or Late Diagnosis of ADHD in Women?” a 2025 BSc Psychology dissertation by Lauren Goddard, University of Essex Online. A big, big thank you to all the ladies that took part in this research.
